This paper explores how the engineering design process might balance conflicting constraints of technical product design and the social demands of users. Some insights from Buddhism, cybernetics, phenomenology and neurophysiology set the scene to help illustrate how Designers and Users build or access their respective ‘experienced-' and ‘expected world’ and achieve their aims. A prototype 3D ‘diamond model’ is presented, which expands on previous work by the authors of this paper and is compared with Beer’s [1994] Team Syntegrity protocol, to structure conversations and activities between two groups with apparently opposing aims. This provides a necessary common purpose and worldview, through which conversations and activities can become innovative, mutually informing, co-evolving and emotionally satisfactory at both the individual and team levels.